Monday 4 July 2016

Someone new to love


Ten months later, the pain of losing our son is still as vivid as it was in September.

We don't feel it as often though. There's something new that's competing for our thoughts.

Trish is pregnant. Or as she would prefer me to say, we are pregnant (I refuse this term until science makes the 1994 movie Junior a reality).

We had little reason to expect this. It took six years, including lots of fertility treatments, before Dominic was conceived. Sure, we weren't using birth control and sure, once you've had one kid your body is more ready for another, but there was no planning going on here.

She told me by sitting me down at lunch, eyes closed, and dropping the pregnancy test into my hands. We've told a few people since then, notably friends who would've noticed had Trish not been drinking on her birthday.

I think we eventually would have tried for another child, but hadn't had the conversation yet. You don't want to feel like you're dishonouring the child you lost by trying too soon.

But damn, does it ever feel like the world is paying us back a bit.

I should temper the excitement by saying this pregnancy is early. We are acutely aware of the two miscarriages we endured before we had Dom; as it was with him, I don't think Trish will truly believe she's got a kid until it starts kicking. She didn't want to announce this one quite so soon, but my counter is that if it fails, we won't have to hide it which only stigmatizes miscarriage.

Naturally, we also wanted to share the happy news with everyone who's followed our journey and given us so much support. It's a relief to have something happy to talk about that isn't laced with pain.

He or she should be due sometime in February. We'll have to redecorate Dom's room for them. Where will his old stuff go? Well, there are lots of reminders of him all through the house anyways.

There's room for someone else to love, too.

26 comments:

  1. CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am so happy for you guys, I can't even express it in words. So much love for you both

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  2. oh my god I'm bawling! so happy for you.

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  3. The very best news ever in the history of news!!! Huge congratulations to you both. You'll be in my thoughts.

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  4. OMG! I am so happy for you! I look forward to following this journey. And don't worry about Dom - he's excited for you!

    Gotta go get some kleenex now.

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  5. Congratulations....that's your little angel DOM working for you, super exciting!!

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  6. Wow. Congratulations, you guys. You deserve this.

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  7. Congratulations! Miracles exist and you two are long overdue for one. Thanks for sharing.

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  8. Congratulations! What exciting news from amazing people. Both my boys are asking why I'm crying.... happy tears for you two ☺

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  9. So awesome and amazing!!! Congratulations to the both of you.

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  10. Congratulations! Wish you and your LO all the health and happiness in the world

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  11. Congratulations! So happy for you both :) Hoping and praying for a healthy pregnancy and delivery.

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  12. Congrats!!!! Wishing you sticky baby dust and a happy and healthy pregnancy!!!

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  13. Wow! That is so exciting. I hope and pray that your pregnancy goes along smoothly. Congrats

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  14. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! So freaking happy for you. From someone who has walked the miscarriage tightrope, celebrating the possibility and being joyful was better than clamping down on it in case it didn't happen. When it didn't at least we'd all had the joy....

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  15. This is wonderful news!! We will never be capable of understanding the plan God holds in our lives... the loss of the conceived but unborn, the struggles in conceiving, the blessing of conceiving and delivery... the loss of the born and survived but only for a short period of time... the blessing of conceiving unplanned. The ups and downs... the joy and sorrow. This little person will never take away the love you had and have for Dom and Dom would never want you to go without another child... a sibling.

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  16. Huge smiles! Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy. This baby couldn't be born into a more wonderful home. Dominic's stuff will fill your home and hearts forever, even if it has to share. Looking forward to happy milestones.

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  17. I'm overflowing with joy for you two and for all of us who will (fingers crossed) get to meet Dom's little brother and sister in seven months. What a thrill! Congratulations.

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  18. Congrats. That's good to hear! My wife and I were trying for a second for a long time and also went through two miscarriages before Abby came along almost two years ago. At least we all know the new baby will always have an angel looking over his or her shoulder.

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  19. So happy for you both! Praying for the best!

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  20. Discovered your story while reading about That Dragon, Cancer, and was crushed to hear about Dominic. But wow, I'm so incredibly happy to hear this news. Congratulations to you both.

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  21. Crying huge tears of joy and hope and the power of miracles!! Nobody deserves this great news more than you two. Have followed your journey for years, still occasionally checking on how your family is doing. Everyone is sending the most healthy wishes and thoughts your way. Congrats !

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  22. Will you keep us updated how Trish is feeling?!! You are in our thoughts!

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  23. Congratulations, that is wonderful news!!! You just made my day :) I was just thinking of you two the other day, hoping that you are doing well and bam, today I looked on your blog and here is the awesome news. Sending lots of baby dust and wishing you H&H9 (happy and healthy pregnancy...just in case).
    Tearing up with joy for you.

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