The words made me go lay back down in bed. I still feel faint writing them.
As much as we wanted answers, we wanted positive answers. This feels like the beginning of the end, not a glimmer of hope getting brighter.
Dominic's fever went away enough to be discharged, but when he was back at the Alberta Children's Hospital Thursday for a barrage of tests his breathing rate tripled before an MRI. An X-ray later and he was diagnosed with bronchitis and unable to get the other tests done.
They still need to do the tests, but news from earlier in the week has changed everything else.
Blasts of cancer cells in his blood are back. Once down to five per cent from 30 - due to the azacitidine (chemotherapy) - they're back up to 20 per cent.
That means the azacitidine has failed. Even though he last got it Sept. 13 prior to the T-cell infusion, and even though his next round of it was delayed due to the brain bleeds, doctors tell us it should've kept the leukemia at bay longer than it has.
Time is running out. We were given the option to go to life-prolonging chemotherapy instead of our initial plan of being aggressive.
Naturally, we're still fighting as long as he tolerates it.
The next - and perhaps final - plan is a different type of chemotherapy and one last shot at the T-cell infusion to cause graft versus host disease. Originally he could've had five or six chances with the T cells but the cancer is so aggressive they think we're down to one. So he's going to get a heavy dose of T cells and will have a high likelihood of getting very sick with GVHD.
The chemo will happen next week, as soon as the tests are done. He's getting steroids and other drugs this weekend in hopes of calming the bronchitis and viral infection prior to Tuesday's round of sedation and tests. Even if that doesn't work they'll sedate him and take our chances.
I saw him on Facetime this morning. He's got nasal prongs in to deliver oxygen because of his breathing issues. But he still took his soother out and kissed Trish's phone. He waved. He was busy eating Smarties - nearly a full box.
Our friends are getting married tomorrow. They want to have kids. What I wouldn't give to have them play together some day.