Saturday 12 September 2015

Triggers


We walk into the house, and there's a giant baby gate.

We go to our room, and his door is open, right across the way.

I open a cupboard full of bright plastic cups, plates and cutlery.

There is no avoiding the tears.

At the same time, there are good memories here too. So we'll cry one minute and laugh the next. There are even genuine smiles.

Grieving isn't easy no matter who you've lost. But I think it's safe to say the more you loved, the more your heart will break when they're gone.

Our hearts aren't the only ones broken, and in coming home we have seen that. It's why #dominicstrong feels like it's become an unofficial foundation of support - while people want to help us, it may be a way of grieving someone you loved, too.

Today is two years since his diagnosis. I remember standing outside Dr. Vaz's clinic in Medicine Hat, convinced he'll have some miracle cure for the bug bite-looking spots on his head and swelling belly. Even when he suggested leukemia, a bacterial infection or meningitis, I optimistically assumed the latter.

But it is what it is, and we are where we are. So we make the most of today, and every day, just like Dom did.

We'll head to a mini golf fundraiser at Hooplas Entertainment Centre in support of Extra Life and the Alberta Children's Hospital. In the past week, donations have spiralled upwards, the total now at US$18,400 - Trish will cut a foot of hair today, then shave the rest Nov. 7. My page (which is really now a gigantic team in itself) is ranked second among all of Extra Life. It is crazy.

Family will join us tomorrow, I still have a speech to write and the memorial service Monday is coming together nicely. If you're coming, know that our theme is orange and gold to represent leukemia and childhood cancer awareness month respectively. That said wear whatever you want. One person asked to wear a superhero outfit. Go for it! Maybe you feel traditional grey is best. Fair enough.

The ceremony starts at 2 p.m. at the Esplanade in Medicine Hat. Maybe show up closer to 1:15 p.m. in case it's a big crowd. We know at least 350 people will be there. Be ready to cry, laugh and smile. If you can't make it, we'll share parts of the service on the blog at some point as well.

There will be triggers along the way, more than we imagine, but they're not all sad. Like the #dominicstrong T-shirts we tried on last night, many just fill us with pride.

6 comments:

  1. Heartbreaking that you and Trish have to experience this, but glad to hear the level of support is so, so strong. You two are inspiring.
    All the best wishes for Monday's memorial. Looking forward to seeing the posts.

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  2. thinking of you always and how brave you are

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  3. I have been following your journey through this blog for quite a while now. My heart breaks for you and your family as this new journey begins. Sending love, light and prayers.

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  4. That perfect little 'thumbs up' logo is a trigger for me - happy and sad at the same time. Tears and smiles together. Just like Dom's journey - happy, hopeful moments followed by devastating predictions. But through it all, the magic of Dom and you and Trish kept the joy alive even in the darkest moments. That bright little 'thumbs up' against black says it all. For me he will always be a symbol of never giving up, of always finding something to be happy about. I'm a stranger, only having met Dom once, by chance, at ACH. I recognized him and Trish from your blog, which I'd been following since the FB vid of him following the floor cleaner in his walker - still one of the cutest things I've ever seen.Thank you for letting me (and so many others) follow you on the journey, which I don't believe will ever be over. Wishing you peace and the comfort of many happy memories.

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  5. It is heartbreaking to hear about these moments, but it is nice to hear there have been some occasional smiles sprinkled throughout this incredibly difficult time. It sounds like the event at Hoopla's yesterday was a good one. And so awesome with Trish cutting off the foot of hair. It is an amazing thing to do and she looked beautiful in the photos and video you posted.
    Thinking of you always and especially tomorrow for the memorial.
    Kate

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  6. Continued prayers for you both. Wishing you strength for tomorrow and the coming days, weeks, months and years.

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