Someone new to love

Ten months later, the pain of losing our son is still as vivid as it was in September.

We don't feel it as often though. There's something new that's competing for our thoughts.

Trish is pregnant. Or as she would prefer me to say, we are pregnant (I refuse this term until science makes the 1994 movie Junior a reality).

We had little reason to expect this. It took six years, including lots of fertility treatments, before Dominic was conceived. Sure, we weren't using birth control and sure, once you've had one kid your body is more ready for another, but there was no planning going on here.

She told me by sitting me down at lunch, eyes closed, and dropping the pregnancy test into my hands. We've told a few people since then, notably friends who would've noticed had Trish not been drinking on her birthday.

I think we eventually would have tried for another child, but hadn't had the conversation yet. You don't want to feel like you're dishonouring the child you lost by trying too soon.

But damn, does it ever feel like the world is paying us back a bit.

I should temper the excitement by saying this pregnancy is early. We are acutely aware of the two miscarriages we endured before we had Dom; as it was with him, I don't think Trish will truly believe she's got a kid until it starts kicking. She didn't want to announce this one quite so soon, but my counter is that if it fails, we won't have to hide it which only stigmatizes miscarriage.

Naturally, we also wanted to share the happy news with everyone who's followed our journey and given us so much support. It's a relief to have something happy to talk about that isn't laced with pain.

He or she should be due sometime in February. We'll have to redecorate Dom's room for them. Where will his old stuff go? Well, there are lots of reminders of him all through the house anyways.

There's room for someone else to love, too.